A Terrorist is dead – Quit your kvetching!
Galus Australis resident Zaide goes nutmeg in response to the following letter.
Recently I discovered that a forgery of my passport was used in a mission to assassinate some terrorist in Dubai. And now I don’t think I can go on a holiday to Dubai to check out that indoor ski centre – yes, I know it must use up obscene amounts of energy, but the novelty aspect of snow-skiing where the outside temperate is 45 degrees C is just too compelling to resist. But now, I feel all this has been taken away from me, my whole identity has been stolen, and as I write this you should know that I am in tears, bawling my eyes out. Oh Izzy, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do…
Johnny Fontane (named changed by editors to protect privacy).
You want to know what you can do. To quote a well known Italian gentleman I am acquainted with: YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN! What’s the matter with you? Is this what you’ve become, a Hollywood finocchio who cries like a woman? “Oh, what do I do? What do I do?” What is that nonsense? Ridiculous!
But I don’t want to pick on you Johnny. All you passport holders – Stop your whining! These field agents put their lives on the line to take out an arch terrorist who would still be plotting to kill innocent civilians today, and you’re worried that now you can’t go on a shopping spree to that farshtunkeneh Dubai.
At least not all of you passport holders are whining. Yasher Koach to you sir, Philip Carr, and everyone else displaying your seychel.
And while I’m on the topic of needless kvetching…
Governments, stop your whining! A mass murderer has been assassinated – nothing to cry about here. Even Mr Goldstone is in favour of assassinating terrorists. To quote Ms Livni: “What was disproportionate this time? Was there a disproportionate use of passports?”
Incidentally, Ms Livni is a shayneh maydel, but I understand that there is at least one shmendrik out there who doesn’t know this.
And particularly you, Mr Rudd, one day you are announcing the most extensive counter-terrorism policy in Australia’s history, and then a few days later you have your Mr Smith getting precious about a few forged passports. Fair chapp of the chreyn jar! Imagine for a moment that a few forged passports could have prevented the Bali bombing. What do you have to say then Mr Rudd and Mr Smith? You should both be ashamed of yourselves.
And finally, you mavens in the Media – where’s your critical thinking? Maybe you shouldn’t take everything Dubai police have to say at face value – the list of suspects is now up to 26. It only takes 11 football players to win a World Cup final, yet it apparently takes 26 agents to travel to Dubai to assassinate one terrorist? I doubt it! And maybe you should be asking the Dubai police this: what nationality passport was Mr al-Mabuh travelling on? Why were you allowing this man to go about his business in your farshtunkeneh city?
OK readers, I am getting a little bit too worked up here. I better take a lie down. Discuss amongst yourselves!
All questions to Izzy should be emailed to Izzy AT GalusAustralis.com