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Australian in line for al-Qaeda Top Job

May 3, 2011 – 9:26 pm73 Comments

Al-Qaeda, a highly complicated organisation, as demonstrated by this org. chart

By Anthony Frosh

An Australian has been named as one of the potential replacements for the recently deceased al-Qaeda chairperson, Osama bin Laden.  Fiona Byrne, current mayor of Marrickville, is apparently on the short list to be nominated as the board’s preferred candidate for the job.

While none of the board members were willing to go on record, unnamed sources close to some senior al-Qaeda board members have said that Byrne is held in high regard.

Not only is the board highly impressed with her values, as demonstrated by her support for a boycott against Israel, but her experience managing Marrickville city council, as well her dabbling in foreign policy, is seen by some to make her an excellent fit for the next chairperson of the world’s leading international terrorist organization.

Counting against Byrne is that she is a woman.  Experts are not sure if al-Qaeda is ready to have a woman chairperson, but for a candidate of Byrne’s quality, they may be willing to make a precedent.

The story comes as more Australians are being appointed to run leading global organizations than ever before. In the past decade, Australians have headed the World Bank Group (Sir James Wolfensohn), the International Crisis Group (Gareth Evans), and McDonalds Corporation (Charlie Bell).

Byrne has refused to comment at this stage, other than to say that she is “one hundred percent focussed on running Marrickville city council, but if the opportunity came along to run an organization with the global reach of al-Qaeda [she’d] be mad not to consider it.”

Incredibly enough, it was hinted at prior to bin Laden’s demise, as early as August last year, in the Australian Jewish News that an Australian Greens politician could be selected for this prestigious role.

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  • David Hope says:

    I’m sorry but this is stupid. As a piece of satire it isn’t funny. Also it does not help address the serious issues in Marrickville.

  • Ari says:

    Yeah! – this is real stupid. As a satire it isn’t even funny. Yeah just like David wrote.
    I mean – Barack Obama would be a much better candidate owing to the name and all – and I hope there wasn’t a conflict of interest going on behind the scenes. I’m sure the board wouldn’t allow such a lack of integrity.
    No, but on a serious note, if Byrne were to succeed as head, then the group’s focus could finally move away from the minor matters and turn to the major issue facing the world at large – stopping the Zionists and their apartheid wall that is still being erected as we speak in Sydney’s North.

  • Marky says:

    You people are so naive to believe everything you hear!! There is no way that osama is dead. In fact I just saw him relaxing in a cafe down Carlisle St with Elvis, Princess Diana and former PM Harold Holt. The latter were having a hard time conversing with him, due to his attention being diverted by the 72 virgins accompanying him..

  • Sam says:

    Fiona Byrne,

    Excellent candidate methinks; good politics, even better foreign policy expert, talented hater of Israel, but no beard. Any bonafide Al Quaeda figurehead, needs the trademark long streaky beard. Can some one please send her some high potency anabolic steroids?

  • Marky says:

    And Frosh, since it has now been established that Obama-sorry, I meant Osama(Ari, stop it!) is now alive and kicking, it seems that you have completely misconstrued the facts. It wasn’t Byrne who is a candidate for osama’s position-which is anyway not vacant. The true story is the exact opposite. Obama is being touted for the job at Marrickville, to replace Byrne..

  • George B Good says:

    @ David Hope. What are these serious issues in Marrickville ?

  • ariel says:

    According to Jackie Mason, bin Laden is living in Philadelphia disguised as an Orthodox rabbi…

  • Is the US unwittingly creating a *huge* supply-demand imbalance for virgins in heaven? Talk about blowback!

  • Elliot says:

    Those of you who know me will be aware that I have been campaigning very hard against the NSW Greens BDS position and the Marrickville council decision. Nonetheless, I am absolutely disgusted by this article. I guess it is meant to be satire, but it misses the key ingredient of satire – it is not in the slightest bit funny. Instead it is just highly offensive.

    I could also add that this article discredits not only yourself but those of us who are actively opposing the NSW BDS campaign. We become associated with and tarred by your moronic words.

    I respected the you for setting up this site which allows Australian Jews with a wide range of opinions to take part in intelligent conversations about important matters. Articles such as this one bring the whole venture into disrepute.

  • Phillip Walker says:

    As another Green who has also publicly dissented from BDS I endorse Elliott’s comments. Marrickville Council may have been misguided but it requires a very cynical and ugly mentality to make the leap to comparison with a mass murderer. I will be generous to the author and assume that he did not think through the implications of this posting, unless the intention was to deliberately raise the temperature on what is already a highly emotive subject. The crudeness of this smear undermines rationale debate on an important issue; it also discredits Galus negating the claim of being a site for informed dialogue. This is unfortunate given many writers have contributed fascinating articles, and some have displayed courage in being prepared to argue controversial positions. Satire is one thing, slander a different matter altogether. If this was a movie it would be rated a donkey.

  • Sam says:


    Your response is disproportionate! You could have said that you don’t find the satire funny and it has not helped (Nor has it hindered IMO.) However it is not nearly as absurd as the Mayor of Marrackville taking a strong position on BDS (foreign policy being thinly veiled antisemitism).This is in direct opposition to the Federal government, the Federal Greens and the governments of almost all first world countries. You should make such a statement if you expect readers to give weight to your comments.

  • frosh says:

    To those who have written in to say they do not appreciate satire, I would like to firstly thank them for their correspondence, and secondly, congratulate them for recognising that this article is indeed a satire.

    However, the article constitutes a multi-level satire, and there’s at least a few ‘critics’ here who seem to have failed to get passed the first level. Perhaps the hostile media effect is at play here.

    One critic has written: “If this was a movie it would be rated a donkey.” Thankfully, I can assure this critic that I’ve double checked, and it isn’t a movie.

    I could retort that if this were a satire-appreciation class, some people here would be receiving a D minus.

  • Sam says:


    You wrote: “As another Green who has also publicly dissented from BDS I endorse Elliott’s comments”.
    I might sound ignorant but could you please enlighten us as to your MAIN reason for the reason that you offer dissent with regards to the BDS campaign advocated by Fiona Byrne. And please, be honest with your response!

  • Sam says:

    Thank you Phillip for referring me back to your opinion piece published in Galus last December. I quote from your article a small portion including a sentence you put in bold type for emphasis.

    ” The BDS campaign is unlikely to soften the attitude of Israeli people; rather it will reinforce the view that “the whole world is still against us”. Accordingly BDS is defeatist as it despairs of the possibility that Israel can be a partner for peace”.

    And maybe since then this little bit published in Crikey on March 28th.
    “Federal leader Bob Brown yesterday admitted Byrne’s controversial decision to support Marrickville Council’s boycott of Israel had undermined her campaign:”

    Or in other words Israel is too strong to fold under the pressure of a BDS campaign, and also, it seems to lose more votes than it gains.
    Sorry Phillip, wrong reasons.

  • Larry Stillman says:


    I can’t help but agree. This is stupid, really silly, not even satire. It’s just mud-throwing of a very low order. You can do better than this. And for all the wiseacres. I have been highly critical of BDS strategy in Marrickville ‘on paper’.

  • Reality Check says:

    Indeed David Werdiger, this martydom business sure does wonders for one’s sex drive, far better than Viagra. I mean, after all their terrorist activities, they need 72 virgins to make up for it.

  • frosh says:


    As I’ve told you before, you’re hardly qualified to judge satire.

    Why is it that those towards the far left of politics have such a hard time laughing at themselves? And this is despite there being so much about them (just like their counterparts out on the right) to laugh at.

    Who am I “throwing mud” at? As usual Larry, you use catch phrases in a way that makes them devoid of any meaning.

    Which target of this satire are you particularly concerned for? Byrne, Australian parochialism, or those behind the scare campaign embodied in the AJN advertisement?

    Finally, you need to increase your lexicon. It seems that almost every article I write, you leave a comment on deriding it as “silly.” Frankly, the act of you constantly calling me and my articles “silly” is beyond silly – it’s imbecilic.

  • Andrew Wirth says:

    Wow, Frosh you have really dropped the ball on this one- where is your journalistic balance? This time you have gone too far. You do know that Fiona Byrne also expressed readiness to boycott China on the issue of Tibet, should any of her large and vocal group of Tibetan constituents ask her to do so. The courage shown by taking this brave stance surely entitles her to a claim on being the 15th Dalai Lama when Tenzin Gyatso goes, as much as it does on al-Qaeda leadership. Why do you make the brazen assumption that she is not the possible reincarnation of the Lama? Because she is a woman? Because she is not Tibetan? Perhaps, and this is where your biases really become ugly, simply because she espouses a political ideology based on ignorance and hate? Shame! Shame on you for supporting al-Qaeda! Dont they have enough talent? Do you really want to enhance their strength with Byrnes outstanding organisational and PR skills. You throw the weight of your media outlet behind al-Qaeda’s bid to grab Byrne, and are prepared to leave the Tibetans leaderless and rudderless (unless you are suggesting Kevin for the next Dalai Lama, not unreasonable given his poise and equanimity under pressure). Fess up, Frosh – who pulls your strings..China, al-Qaeada? Next time think- think before writing, unless you want Galus Australis to become synonymous with the forces of hate and opposition to Tibet and peace loving movements everywhere.

  • Andrew Wirth says:

    David, the US doesn’t create markets unwittingly. Haliburton is opening a new subsidiary in heaven.

  • Ari Silbermann says:

    Whilst I disagree with much of this thread I do think the post was a little off the mark. You see al qaeda’s flag is mainly black whereas Hamas’ is almost entirely Green.
    And as an organisation their turnover rates of chief execs is much higher.

  • Larry Stillman says:


    It doesn’t come across as satire, but as vindictiveness gone over the top. Ari’s last post, for example, is better satire. Satire is I think dependent on subtlety, which what you wrote by and large lacked.

  • Allen says:

    I love a laugh as much as the next man and certainly spending time with ones mates having a drink or two. There is a well known saying that says “never trust a man that doesn’t drink” and that would certainly have put Bin Laden and his cronies in that frame. As for Fiona Burns I’m not sure whether she does! And it’s difficult to tell from her facial expressions, if you know what I mean, whether or not she likes a good joke. One thing for sure, her recent campaign, turned out to be one and suggests she be allowed to consider her political options and responsibilities carefully whilst the likes of Bin Laden rot in hell. On the other hand whilst I just love the satire I am waiting with bated breath for some jokes on the subject matter.

  • frosh says:


    Why don’t you try answering the questions I put to you, instead of spouting out rubbish?

    Also, while we’re on the topic of comedy appreciation, here’s a warning. You probably should not watch Chris Lilley’s new show coming to the ABC… I think people like you will not get it and be offended.

  • Larry Stillman says:

    The chaser didn’t identify Byrne in the way you did. I thought the chaser hilarious.

  • Marky says:

    So, one stuffy academic doesn’t like it?? I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

    Next time I want his opinion, I will ask for it. Until then, as above..

  • Larry Stillman says:

    Marky, I could be very rude but I won’t be. I think you have engaged in the past.

    Am I stuffy? I am working with slum dwellers. I don’t think that is stuffy.

    I realised a few minutes ago that good satire doesn’t leave one with a bad taste. It is bipartisan. I just don’t think that this piece of satire worked.

  • Benji says:

    My only contribution is the observation that, of 28 comments, 100% of them were written by males. I’m really not sure how this is relevant…

  • @Larry – “Good satire is bipartisan”? Where on earth did you dig up that one? Look at the Chaser as an example of satire that pushes boundaries. They offend every group they can, without exception!

  • Kovi Rose says:

    *stiffled laughter* i was just shocked to find that it was oSama not oBama who was killed; slightly annoyed actually

  • Kovi Rose says:

    *stifled laughter* i was just shocked to find that it was oSama not oBama who was killed; slightly annoyed actually

  • Marky says:

    Larry, there is a saying in Israel “Al taam varreach en mah lehitvakeach”.

    Previously on other threads on Galus you have indeed “engaged” in the past. Posts said in humour-by myself and others- were criticised by you, just because YOU did not find it tasteful. Not satisfied with that, you also more than once gave me a mouthful of mussar telling me I must desist.

    Knowing you only from your posts here, I have found nothing to show that you are not stuffy and arrogant.

    You seem to only know how to give, but get quite insulted when on the receiving end.

  • Sam says:


    Could it be that you have a soft spot for Fiona Byrne? Oh, that is so sweet of you. That you might align with her foreign policy I needn’t even bother to ask. You have written about that one on Galus ad nauseam. (Crikey! what mayor of a local council has a foreign policy?)

  • atoz says:

    To Larry,

    You must be a regular Mother Theresa for your work with slum dwellers. I will send a letter to the Governor General asking that you be honoured for your noble activities. However, to me (and perhaps to others) you come across as being a stuffy arrogant know it all left wing academic who cant understand why the rest of the world doesn’t understand them.

  • Larry Stillman says:

    Thank you for sharing your positive and supportive comment anonymous Atoz. There is nothing like the coward’s corner of Anonymity for people like you.

    Perhaps you would prefer to bring back loss of land, apartheid and all the rest of the system that led to such people living in poverty in the first place? Or is that just a soft lefty, ‘academic’ sentiment of mine as well?

  • Reality Check says:

    Larry, why do you bother with these red-neck war mongering right wing fools.

    The other day I was speaking to this Russian guy who was very anti anything left wing and thought that Amir was justified in murdering Rubin. He said that the reason why he is so right wing is because he lived in “communist” Russia and he knows of the evils of the “left”. Then I asked him if that is so, why then do so many Jews who survived the Nazi terror and their offsprings are also so right wing?

    Then I also figure that it’s a good that these extremists live here, because if they lived in Israel, G-d knows what damage they could cause.

  • Marky says:

    Thanks, Reality check. Very good point. When all these holocaust and communist surviving “red neck war mongering fools” are anti left, then there must be very good reasons for being so.

  • JR says:

    Frosh, this is not one of your best. I don’t really think it adds anything to the debate nor is it funny. Why is it that everyone disagrees with one of your pieces, you claim that they misunderstood or need to re-read your work? I read it three time and it’s still a shoddy piece of journalism.

    Kovi, your remark was just silly.

  • Kovi Rose to JR says:

    JR – that was the point.

  • frosh says:


    I’m guessing that you could read Einstein’s paper of his General Theory of Relativity, not just three times, but hundred times, and you still wouldn’t understand it in the slightest. I’m also pretty sure Stillman would be in the same boat. Now, what does that say about Einstein, according to your logic? And no, I am in no way comparing myself to Einstein. I’m merely demonstrating the flaw in your idiotic logic.

    Oh, and for those interested in the latest news in testing Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity, see here. It’s fairly accessible writing, but JR and Stillman need not bother.

  • JR says:

    Thanks again for the rib-tickling satire Frosh.

    I’m still waiting for you to explain your piece. If it’s as layered as you claim, then explain it so we can understand where you are coming from. Right now it just seems like trash.

  • Sam says:


    Your difficulty in seeing the humour makes two of you, Larry and you, if Philip and Elliot are discounted, being Green pollies who have antijewish agenda mandated by party policy. How to explain it to you? That’d be like a magician giving an analysis of his sleight of hand, it is neither necessary or likely to happen.

  • Larry Stillman says:

    Sam, don’t tell lies about me. I have nothing to do with Fiona Byrne or any of people in Marrickville and have been critical of them all along.

    And I am still waiting for a response from Atoz who dismisses social justice lock stock and barrel.

    Or is it that Galus attracts cyber-bullies?

    I suggest a restatement from the editorial staff, which includes Frosh, about netiquette, including his own free hand with sarcasm.

    I’m giving up on this piece.

  • atoz says:

    To Larry

    Your responses about my posting have been predictible and I expected that type of mock anger and hurt from you.

    Get off your high horse and walk with the reast of us ordinary folk. It was you not me that stated “Am I stuffy? I am working working with slum dwellers. I dont think that is stuffy.” You seem to think that working with slum dwellers means that all of of your other faults can be dismissed and ignored. I did not dismiss social justice lock stock and barrel. But you are no the only one one who is involved.

    If you want to continue this debate I am sure the moderators can pass on my email address to you.

  • Sam says:

    Why the AJDS are right to support a limited boycott
    September 1, 2010 | Print | Email | Share6148 Comments.
    By Larry Stillman

    I’d like to argue the moral case for supporting a selective boycott of products from the Occupied West Bank. I take the view that it is illegally held territory in which its prior and current non-Jewish inhabitants (Palestinians, whatever their citizenship) live under a form of military rule and control system which completely privileges Jewish settlers and Israeli businesses and abuses human rights.

    Larry do you think I haven’t read or remembered anything on Galus before? Is this your work or maybe it really is the Phantom?

  • food for thought says:

    Play nice…. this is not that funny.

    Better luck next time.

    Maybe Mr Stillman should create a course in humour and lack thereof?

  • Larry Stillman says:

    OK, a riposte,

    Read Jonathan Swift if you wish to learn about effective satire. You cannot go much further. Or Laurence Sterne’s Tristam Shandy. Both attacked all sorts of people, particularly kings, princes, scholars and priests and haven’t really been equaled since.

  • Reality Check says:

    The very good point I was making Marky is that the extreme right views of some Russians, many of whom are also ultra frum, are pretty shallow, just like your views on anything that is left. I suspect also that you don’t have a problem with right wing groups like the League of Rights, unless of course they beat the hell out of you just because you happen to be Jewish. Also i suggest that the reason why some survivers and their families are anti-left is because the do better finacially under a conservative government. It has nothing to do with ideology or politics. But also remember it was the left wing pioneers who made Israel a reality and who governed Israel for many years and through some pretty hard times. And it will be the right, G-d forbid, who will take Israel to the brink of destruction.

  • Marky says:

    Realty Check(u really need one)writes “I suspect that you don’t have a problem with ….the league of rights”

    What a stupid, idiotic, comment. It’s like saying that the nazi holocaust survivors don’t have a problem with the nazi party.

    Comparing the league of rights and parties such as the liberals in Australia, conservatives in Canada or the UK, or the main right wing parties in Israel shows you are out off touch and off your head

  • Reality Check says:

    Ah Marky, your Tony Abbott doesn’t have a problem with the league of rights, he looked very comfortable with them at his anti carbon tax rally. I also suspect that if the nazis weren’t so anti-semitic you wouldn’t have a problem with them either. The league of rights haven’t actually done anything to you, whereas the nazis did plently to the survivors and therefore to compare your relationship to the league of rights with the survivors and nazis is trivializing the nazis somewhat. And if all you can do is resort to insults, rather than critical thinking, I don’t want to talk to you anymore, so there.

  • food for thought says:


    Thanks for your reply Larry.(fencing hat on)

    I think the above should be included as well, John Stewart should not be ignored.


  • food for thought says:


    Self explanatory.

    Have a great weekend.

  • Larry Stillman says:

    I’m not in a situation to watch videos at the moment, but the League of Rights has a long history of influence and infiltration into the Liberal Party. Ken Gott wrote an expose in the 60s, and David Greirson a journalist wrote a report in about 1995 that but I may still have a copy.

    They are always around…Bronwyn Bishop has had links with such people. There was or is a faction in the NSW libs called ‘the Uglies’…Marky appears pretty ignorant of them. they have been surpassed to a degree by younger and more virulent Australian nationalists such as those who emerged in WA with van Tongren who went to jail for firebombings, but the league’s deep conservative line hits the spot with a certain spectrum in the population.

    The ADC tracks the activities of such groups.

    There was a journal around published by an association supported by Isi Leibler some years ago that ran reports on the continuing activity of such right wing groups and perhaps some of the Christian Zionists who are also basically anti-semitic. I also published something in it at the time. I can’t remember its name at the moment (I am overseas).

    The league of rights and other such groups practice the same thing as the ultra-left ‘entryism’ into the Libs and other organisations, and agenda setting.

  • letters to the age says:

    Yes, so true!

    Well written Mr Stillman.

    Furthermore, there have been dis-endorsements from the last state election of individuals that were amongst the gen y demographic that are part of a new breed.

    The Chaser team also followed one individual to their home and was made fun of, very funny. I don’t remember the name of this man.

    Political parties always attract people from various sectors of society and that includes extremists, creeps, out-there types et al.

    Laurie Oaks speech at the Logies was a great one to listen to.

    (yes,hard to believe at an event like that but was a good speech)

    A p.h.d should be written on the next generation and how they have re-invented themselves to be more palatable to the masses but have similar ideas.

  • letters to the age says:


    For your perusal on the “uglies”


  • Marky says:

    Reality Check writes: “The league of rights hasn’t actually done anything to you”.

    I have some earth shattering news for you. The league of rights deny the holocaust. They also promote the “protocols of the elders of zion” and are outright anti semites. So your comment is way out.

    And Larry(and RC), of course there are always those in every party who can have some connection with extremists. However, we have seen over many decades, that parties to right(Liberal and Labor) have always been generally more sympathetic to Israel and Jews.

    Case in point is the one leftist government of Gough the wrecker, who was a disaster in every way.

  • Reality Check says:

    Oh Marky, you poor baby, it must have been awful for you. You should tell uncle Tony to stop those nasty boys supporting him.

  • Marky says:

    Reality check, previously I said only your comments are idiotic but after this one…

    Ooops! I better not finish as you said that you won’t want to talk to me anymore. And I will be totally devastasted if that happened..

  • Larry Stillman says:

    I don’t know what the connection is with me.

  • frosh says:


    Are you actually asking my to buy you a pack of gum and then to show you how to chew it?

    Apologies to (David Mamet’s) Richard Roma.

  • Reality Check says:

    Marky, care to address the comments made by Larry Stillman about Bishop and the Libs, or are you going to just keep your head in the sand about those who you so admire and keep throwing insults at me. Come on Marky, be a man or woman, whoever you are.

  • Sam says:


    It is very convenient to simply accept as fact, statements made by a quasi intellectual with whom you share the same strongly leftist views. What evidence is there that the League of Rights had any sort of alliance with the Liberal Party, or Bronwyn Bishop in particular? Members of the League may have tried to infiltrate but to imply that they were welcome is outrageous. The reference to Jack van tongeren who was a neo nazi and a white supremacist is an absolute red herring and has been thrown into the mix to emphasize Stillmans hatred of any thing right wing. Sadly this thread has been sidetracked by you and a few others and your postings lack any humor, which the original article had in spades.

  • Marky says:

    RC, I did address that. You even posted some inane response(poor baby etc.) to my addressing of it.

    You seem to want me to write some nice things about you. I could say that you are super intelligent and ultra georgeous etc., but I would be lying as your last post again proves otherwise..

  • history test says:


    It is an old article but indicative of the past and not the current liberal party of 2011.

  • historty test says:


    please take note of the politicians in the current climate that are mentioned in this article.

  • Larry Stillman says:


    You are wrong, and twisting my words I said the LofR had been surpassed by the right-wing through such people as van Tongrenn. To make it clear, they appeal in a more populist way to a nasty element in the population than the rather old fashioned LofR.

    But it is clear that the Libs have a continuing problem, particularly in NSW with the uglies, where Urbanchich was a strong supporter of Bronwyn Bishop who never distanced herself.

    There is also Corey Bernardi in SA, a beacon of intolerance. And btw, the Labour party has had a problem with nationalists of the bizarre sort–look at Graeme Campbell and One Nation.

    In any case, I make a distinction between right-wing (and left-wing) racists and people who are economic dries. Nor, do I hold crude leftist views on the market etc. For some things, the market is great, for others, a disaster. But as well, the Libs are split (or were split, between liberals who accepted state intervention (Menzies, Fraser), and the hard dries such as Howard or the current leadership).

  • Chris Beale says:

    This is the most outrageous defamation. Fiona Byrne could – quite rightly – sue for millions over this. I’m not fan of the BDS – but this is just stupid.

  • frosh says:

    Chris Beale,
    Let me get this right…

    You think that defamation laws should be used to prevent expressions of satire (that you don’t like nor understand), and claimants should be awarded millions of dollars??

    So your ideal society combines the absurd civil lawsuit awards that we find in the USA with the limits on freedom of expression that can be found in North Korea.

    Well, thanks for offering us your utopian mixture of capitalism and Stalinism.

  • history test says:

    Are the above two comments part of the joke as well?

  • ilana Leeds says:

    Ehheemm, cough, cough the droll and witless wonders are out in full force on this thread. Surely there are better issues to discuss than who is going to head Al Qaeda, even in jest.
    Moronic humour at its most demeaning and I never thought I would agree with Larry stillman but I am left with little option.

    And I quote Larry Stillman:
    It doesn’t come across as satire, but as vindictiveness gone over the top. Ari’s last post, for example, is better satire. Satire is I think dependent on subtlety, which what you wrote by and large lacked.
    Subtlety, I fear, is not all that is lacking.

  • frosh says:

    I always thought Larry Stillamn and Illana Leeds had a lot more in common than most people would have thought.

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